My First Harsanik!

First of all, a Harsanik is a wedding. Hars is the word for Daughter-in-Law, FYI. It was a great time, a very long, and a very great time. The whole day started at noon, when a random relative picked me up and brought me to the bride's families house. My school director's sister was getting married. I get to the house and there are at least 15 women (from the brides side) there getting dressed and ready to go. I honestly couldn't tell who the bride was (no white dress yet, and I had only met the woman once!). About an hour later, there was tons of excitement, and everyone started looking out the windows...the groom's side had arrived. And oh boy, did they make an entrance! There were 5 or 10 cars, all decorated, and a 3 piece band (accordion, clarinet, and drum) played happy, traditional music as they literally danced the bride's dress into the house. Literally..It was a big white poof in a large basket, and everyone danced and sang as they walked it into the house. The men stayed downstairs, presumably drinking and toasting, while all of the women (at least 50) went upstairs to where the bride was eagerly waiting. In Armenia, there is a Godmother and Godfather of the wedding, another married couple. I have no idea what the role of the Godfather is, but the Godmother helped the bride get dressed. All of the women crowded into the bride's room, and the overflow packed close to the door in the hallway. After the bride was all dressed in white..a few things happened. First, they handed out loaves of bread to all of the unmarried women (me included) there. Apparently, if I sleep with that bread under my pillow, I will see my future husband! Next, it was time for the bride to put on her veil..a very big deal. First, she brushed the veil over all of the unmarried women's heads (for luck, I think?) and then it was circled around her head three times before being secured. Then, they dumped (well, a bit more gracefully then 'dumped') candy and rose petals over her newly secured veil.

After, all of the women dance in the hallway, with their bread or otherwise, and eventually the groom comes upstairs to claim his bride. All goes well until he reaches the door of the house, and that is when the bride's brother shoves a sword in the door jamb in front of the groom's face. Yes, I typed that right, but it was not an act of violence, all the groom had to do was pay a 'bribe' to take the bride away. After, to more music, everyone danced out the doors and to the unbelievably long line of cars (at least 20) waiting to take everyone to the church.

The church ceremony was actually the low point of the day. By the way, it was already 3 when we arrived there. We get to the monastery/church and the priest is there waiting. We all go into a small room with an alter (which, by the way, had no benches, or heating ::brr::) and crowded around the bride and groom. The ceremony itself was boring, partly since I had no idea what was going on..but then again, the other people (groom included) looked bored too. At one point, the priest even stepped away to answer his phone! One interesting part of the ceremony was that they touched forehead for a pretty long time. Long time to the point that the bride and groom were laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation..it was hilarious to watch them giggle, trying to hold in the laughter during what I think was supposed to be a pretty solemn part of the ceremony. After, the priest broke out some crowns with religious pictures on them..the bride and groom wore them for about a minute, and then they were removed never to be seen again. Oh, and there was no 'now you may kiss the bride' part either, it was just kind of over and people gave them hugs and stuff, took pictures, before we got back into the caravan of cars.

This time, as we drove back to town though, horns were honking like crazy. At the local rotary, all of the other cars stopped, and let the caravan circle around 6 or 7 times, honking their horns the entire time.

Soon enough, we arrived at the groom's house. Well, I guess it is technically his parents house. In Armenia, in the case of women, you live with your parents until you are married, end of story. If you don't get married, you just live in the house forever..eventually with your brother's and their wives. If you are a man, you live in the house forever as the only or youngest son. If you are an older son, you generally move out on your own when the next youngest brother gets hitched. Anyway..we arrive at the house (well, it was an apartment) and the 3 piece band is still around playing music and everyone is dancing and happy. The mother-of-the-groom comes out and performs a bit of a ceremony. She drapes pieces of lavash (the flat bread here, their life, really) over each of their shoulders..then spoon feeds them some honey mixture, and later throws money and candies into the air. More dancing follows as the bride and groom make their way into the house, breaking two plates as they walk in the door for the first time as husband and wife.

It is around 5 pm now, and the next part of the tradition I am not so positive about. We get into the house and there is a full spread out on the table, complete with alcohol and shot glasses. The men start toasting, but no one eats. A bit later, all of the women go with the new bride into a separate room and start taking pictures with her. I assume the men are still downstairs drinking. That is all that happens for about an hour. Pictures with the bride. Then, it is back into the cars (after a brief dance party outside, where all of the neighbors have gathered) and we head to the reception.

The reception happens at a hall. A big hall. With 15 tables set for 20 people each. There is a banquet on each table. Bottles of cognac, wine, and vodka set a few feet apart on each table. There is horavats, pastries, salads, tons and tons of food. Everyone sits down, and we wait for the bride and groom to enter. There is more dancing when they do, and shouts and cheers, and then it is time to eat. And you eat. Especially if you are an American sitting with people who don't really know you. They stack food on your plates. All night long. They also pour you copious amounts of the alcohol of your choice (mine: cognac) and toasting runs rampant the entire night. The toasting and the eating are interspersed with various dances: one for gifts of jewelery, danced up to the bride; another where the bride and groom dance, and guest plays $100 bills (yes, dollars) in their hands; and yet another for 'other' gifts. At one point, the bride and groom go around and clink glasses with every, yes every one of the 300+ guests that are there. The parents do the same. After everyone is full beyond belief, dancing becomes a continuous thing. People take breaks, of course, to rest their feet or to drink. Well, mostly just to drink. A few hours in, a second course of fish is brought out, and I should mention that the whole time, waiters are walking around replacing empty bottles : ). Around 11:30 pm, the cake is cut! They do the whole smearing cake in each others faces deal, and then the best man shakes and opens a bottle of champagne, spraying EVERYONE. Oh, I should also mention that the best man carried around a sword the entire time. I never saw him without it. It was not the plain sword that the brother used to collect the bride, but a very decorated, elaborate sword. Two apples were speared on the top (one stuck with toothpicks) and the whole thing was wrapped in red ribbon, with candy randomly glued on. Later, the bride throws the bouquet (and the short, crazy American to the surprise of all people present rebuffs attempts to be placed up front) and later the groom throws his corsage. No garter here, that would be SOOO amot (shameful).

This dears, around midnight, is where my firsthand descriptions of an authentic Armenian harsanik ends. I gave up. 11 hours in I climbed into a van (after convincing drunk men that I had enough Armenian to direct the driver to my house) and went home to take of my shoes and go to bed. I found out that the party went on for another 2 hours. You should never complain that a wedding is too long ever again!